you know you live "out there" when....

this announcement is made over the grocery store PA system...

"We have an APB out for all men. All men, we have a display of Valentines day goodies in the floral department. So get on over here and pick out something nice for your lady. If get home empty handed your likely to get clobbered, and we don't want you to get clobbered, so get over here and pick somethin' out..."