Feb 27, 2009

If I were a Political Cartoonist....

I would make sure to draw President Obama playing a favorite childhood game with special interest groups and big corporations: "Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a tiger by the toe, you will get some of thier DOUGH!" as small businesses and the middle class look on.....

Some snipets from his plan that will drastically change things for me personally...

take away mortgage write offs
no more write offs for charitable contributions
no more Bush tax cuts



I am sure there is more, but I couldn't stomach it...

really? we are going to fix the economy by hurting charitable donations? really? we are going to help the housing market by not allowing mortgage write offs? really? we are going to put money back in everyones pocket by taking it? really? we are going to save jobs by not requiring companies to be reasonable with their expenses and restructure? really? We are going to create jobs by making sure small business stays small? really, ok...we will see where we are in a year...maybe we will actually accept the fact that we ARE in a depression and taking money from people in a depression is a BAD idea!

Feb 24, 2009

Life is 90% attitude, 10% other....

I read that on a stall in a middle school bathroom at Alex's game on Saturday...I thought it was a great point, so I decided I would try to pay attention to my attitude this week and try and see everything in a positive light....as Dale was leaving to go somewhere, he informed me that Greg told him that he, (Greg) had had an accident in the bathroom...Dale told me I could locate "the accident" under a towel in the bathroom...it was a bit scary, but I went in courageously and looked under all the towels...I located what looked to be "the accident" and was pleasantly suprised. Greg had put in sufficient effort to clean it up.(see my positive attitude taking effect?) I really was very positive about cleaning up this mess...I thought to myself, my youngest is 5, and was very easy to potty train...this really doesn't happen to often, and it used to happen daily!...look at the effort he put in to clean it up...what a sweetheart! I decided to view Greg's accident as an oppurtunity to go ahead and clean the whole bathroom top to bottom! Greg came in, and the conversation went as follows:

Greg: Mom, what are you doing?

Me: I cleaned up your accident, washed all the towels and am just getting done cleaning the whole bathroom...doesn't it look good?

Greg: Mom, I didn't have an accident in THIS bathroom, I had an accident in the UPSTAIRS bathroom...

Me: WHAT??!?!?! (calming down, remembering to be positive..) I mean, in the upsatirs bathroom?

Greg: yup, I put two towels over it...

Me:(in my head) Are you FREAKING kidding me?!?!?!??!I just cleaned up a UPM (unidentified poopy mess) not to mention the WHOLE bathroom, and now I get to go look under *two* towels to see whats awaiting me!?!?!??! Life is 90% attitude?!?!?!??! whoever came up with that stupid *** saying did not have 4 sons and 3 bathrooms!!!!

****footnote*****

I did go look in the upstairs bathroom under the towels...I will not describe what I saw, but lets just say it's the worst thing I have ever seen and the worst thing I have ever had to clean up!...I ended up throwing away two towels and two bath rugs, that bathroom is spotless and sanitized to the max!..bleach is my best friend and when the kids move out I am gutting every surface of every bathroom...I am also rethinking the logic of an outhouse...I think going to the bathroom in the freezing cold could be beneficial to boys immune systems...and I am betting boys who use outhouses have a longer life expectancy because fewer mothers would kill them....

I will work on my good attitude another time....

Feb 22, 2009

"What is this place...?"

As I was sitting 11 years ago, watching the nurses and doctors working diligently on my sister, I could not hear their words, I could only hear the buzzing of human voices going around me. The beeping of the machines hooked up to my sister were giving hope to everyone in the room that she would be ok, everyone except the trained professionals who knew that their attempts were futile. I had already known for a while that they would be unsuccessful in saving her. I could see it in their eyes, hear it in their buzzing voices and I could feel the heaviness of it all. They were trained enough to know that it was futile, but the seasoned doctors and nurses wanted to believe that they were wrong, they wouldn't give up. I watched, hoping beyond hope that I was wrong also. But I knew it the moment I got the call that morning. Something just told me that she was gone. I denied it the entire 20 minute ride to her house, and then to the hospital. I tried to deny what I was feeling. I knew that my denials would soon be over, and that I would have a reality to accept, but for now, I pushed what I knew aside, and listened to the beeps. As long as the machines beeped, I didn't have to accept reality. I deliriously mumbled jargen about her needing a blanket, she was getting cold since she didn't have anything on. The doctors grew tired from working on her, the nurses took over, the nurses grew tired, then it happened, they all stopped. The beeps stopped. It was over, she was really gone. My denials would no longer be enough. I finally had to accept reality. My sister, the mother of two and loved by everyone, was really gone.





My brother and I went to pick up her children. First was Connor. He was 4 and in preschool. I went into the school, spoke through my tears about what had happened. The staff knew Theresa, and they were visibly upset. Connor's class was being dismissed, they came towards me in a line, he saw me and had a huge smile on his face, completely unaware of how much his life just changed. I didn't want him to see my tears, I just hugged him and didn't let go. We sat on a bench outside, waiting for Matt to return from picking up Ciara. Connor talked about everything he did that day. He had painted an ice cream cone and was so proud of it. His sweet, sunny spirit was such a contrast from the events that I had witnessed that morning. Matt returned with Ciara. She was one. We were all gathering back at Matt's house. Theresa, Connor and Ciara were living with Matt at the time. I turned around to look at Ciara in the carseat. She was so peaceful, and happy, Connor was continuing to tell her about his ice cream cone picture. These two were in a different place than I was. Just babies, so young, so close to Heaven.



When we arrived at Matt's house, the reality of it all continued. Most of my denials were gone, but wouldn't entirely leave until years later. Here we all were, all except Theresa. Here were her kids, her family, some friends, even her car, yet she wasn't there. I walked past her bedroom and was drawn in. I wanted to bathe myself in all of her things, an effort to be with her, and maybe bring her back. I could smell her smell. I could see her personality in everything from the comforter, to the nightstand to the clothes in the closet that I had seen her wear. The clothes reminded me of her bare body earlier that morning. She needed clothes for the hospital, she didn't have anything on when she arrived, I made a mental note to bring clean clothes to the hospital for her. I noticed her purse by the nightstand. Everything was going in slow motion, it had been in slow motion the entire morning. I ran my fingers over her purse. It was hers. For a brief moment, I panicked. 'She forgot her purse! We have to bring it to her!' Then it hit me, 'where she is, she doesn't need her clothes OR her purse!' ....' What is this place where you don't need your clothes or your purse?'... I began to feel the things inside of her purse, each item representing a little piece of her. Her lipstick, 'her pale lips don't need to be beautified where she is.' Her thick, goofy, Theresa glasses, 'where she went, her eyesight is once again perfect. She doesn't need them.' Her hair brush, 'won't she need to brush her hair? I guess not!' Her checkbook, credit cards and cash, 'She is in a place where money is of no value.' Her health insurance cards, 'where she is she will not need a doctor, she will not get sick.' Her car keys, 'she doesn't need a car to get around anymore' Her Drviers license, then it really hit me, ' WHERE SHE IS, SHE DOESN"T NEED I.D., they already know who she is!' My mind began to open, What is this place that I have always known as Heaven? I realized that my sister really was in a better place. A world where none of those things are needed. It was all of us who had gathered there on that day that had a worse fate, we had to figure out how to cope in the world where all those things ARE necessary, and now cope without her being here. We need ID, money and cars. We need things to help us see and we need to do our hair and makeup and we need to carry a purse with all our schedules and various items that help us to function in this world. She no longer needs ANY of this! I comprehended this incredible place that she had gone to for a few minutes before my mind once again closed, and I was back to my reality, she is gone. I will never get over the loss of my sister, I still think of her everyday, and talk about her more, now that I am able to do so without breaking down and crying. I wonder often about the place where she is. She joined my younger brother, who I also think of often, and grandfather who were already there. She was there and able to greet my father and grandmother a few years ago. I have felt her personality and spirit from time to time, and know that she is ok. I know they are all ok. It is when this tumultuous world begins to close in on me, and I feel down that I think of her and my other loved ones the most, I often think, "What is this place where you have gone?"

Theresa and Connor (1994)


(Left to right) Deanna, Sherry(with baby Connor), Tracey,Tammy,Theresa,Brandon, Katy(1994)


My dad, (who joined Theresa in 2004) Theresa (Holding Connor), My mother, and My grandmother Clark


My brother Michael in 1978, (just a few months before he left us)

Feb 16, 2009

weekend in review...

Even with all the pics, we still missed several important events. All the valentines parties, valentines day and our "red" dinner with Grandma Holder! (Thank heavens a "red dinner" means eating foods that are red, Lasagna and red jello etc, and didn't mean coloring food with red food coloring...I don't think I could have handled red mashed potatoes or anything that isn't it's natural color!)

I also didn't get a picture of my awesome Valentines gift! A bowl filled with 365 handwritten messages from my sweetie! One for everyday until next valentines day! I also didn't get a picture of the store bought card that I got him...!(no need to say it, I know I am a loser!!)

I also neglected to get a picture of our very delicious Valentines dinner at a Mexican restuarant, and of the very delicious crepes that Dale made!


Shawn's game...he had 6 points and only sat out four minutes! way to go buddy! Grandma and Grandpa were there to enjoy his great game with us!


David's hockey picture...he had two games this weekend, and after his retarded mother got his skates sharpened, I think he will do even better!

Greg (in blue shirt and jeans) getting ready to bring down the house with his square dancing...



Melissa kickin' it to "Cotton eyed joe"...



Alex's "Moon Landing" cake......



How creative is this cub's cake? i couldn't bring myself to eat it, but I heard it was delicious






Listening to the speaker at the "Blue and Gold" ...(I hold the title for bubble breaker best score ever!)




My almost successful Valentine's Angel Food cake...I pulled the oven rack off of it and it was delicious!



Another angle of the angel.......







Feb 9, 2009

Job Perks....

If you don't know, Dale owns a hauling and recycling company. Ever since he started his company, over 13 years ago, he has brought home many interesting things from different jobs. His role as owner keeps him away from job sites, and so the number of interesting items that he brings home has decreased substantially. A few years ago, he was wandering around TurboHaul's garage area, and stumbled across what looked to be a water damaged map and some other, very damaged, framed picture that caught his eye. He brought them home and put them in our living room. I have to admit, at first I was a little upset about it..they were very dirty and gross looking, and I didn't know where they had been and I definately didn't want them in the living room! They stayed there for a while before a friend of mine saw them and went nuts! She couldn't believe I didn't do something with these items! She took me to some sort of craft place at Walter Reed, where I watched all of our children in an art/craft area. We had full use of the entire art studio AND full use of any materials we wanted, for FREE! While I played with kids and made art, she, with the help of the artist working there, carefully restored both of my dirty, old, items. She cleaned them, and replaced the matting and backing and whatever else you have to do to restore items. My friend worked for hours, being very meticulous...She was very intrigued, and very careful with the items that I had thought were so yucky. At the end of the day, I paid 45 dollars for materials, and that was it. I was completely jealous that she was in the military and got such great perks, she was completely jealous that we were in the hauling business and got such great perks!

The two "dirty, gross" pictures are now numbered amoung my favorite possessions...

Today, I was on the phone with Dale as he was looking around the TurboHaul garage, it was fun to hear excitement in his voice as he noticed a painting...When he brought it home this afternoon, I could see why it caught his eye! like the other two items this will need a little TLC, but I know it will soon become one of my favorites as well.....



I have never brought the two "dirty, gross" items to a professional to look at, I know very little about them...this map is by map maker P. Schenk II...His father was a map maker from Amsterdam and he worked with his father for many years. He mainly mapped out Europe around the 1700's...I do not know if this map is an original or a reproduction..click on it for more detail...notice how California is depicted as an island....



The second item of the two that Dale had in the living room is what looks to be an original engraving from around 1855. It is titled 'United States Senate AD 1850'. It Depicts William Clay presenting "the great compromise". It is unclear to me how many of these engravings were originally printed, but of those printed a few were hand colored. A fully hand colored one is on display in the Old U.S. Senate Chamber room in the U.S. Capitol building. I know one or two senators have non colored ones in their offices. Ours is partially colored. Robert Whitechurch is the engraver. This engraving was based on a painting by Peter Rothermel. The paper is very brittle from acid and has to be handled very delicately. The frame and the glass are very old, possibly original. we replaced the backing and matting to acid free...but there is already a great deal of damage that will need professional treatment someday... you can click on this one for more detail also (sorry for the flash)


Here is today's gem...I know absolutely nothing about this painting...and after searching for an hour ,I couldn't find the artist...It does appear to be an acrylic on canvas...it does have a few damaged areas that I will need to fix and clean up, and then frame, but I absolutely love this painting....




Feb 7, 2009

From a kid's eye....

My kids decided to keep a blog...check it out! (on my blog list)

Feb 3, 2009

"Thank You, "Santa"! " and "lights out.."

In his letter to Santa before Christmas, David requested an ice rink in our basement. We tried to break the news to him that Santa most likely couldn't do that because you can't put ice rinks in basements. He understood, so then he requested an ice rink for our backyard from Santa...even showing me a picture from a magazine of a backyard ice rink! I told him that we live in Maryland, and Santa wouldn't be able to make an ice rink in our back yard because it doesn't get cold enough...Last week, he came home from school and headed outside with his ice skates, yelling, "Thank you santa, Thank you Santa!!!" ...our yard was an ice rink! They skated all over the front yard and then decided to go to a flatter area. Here is a video of the kids skating on the flat top...Melissa is wearing her ice skates from santa for the first time.





On friday night we had our first "power outage" preparedness night. We decided to see how ready we are for a power outage. We picked the coldest time of the year to do this to see how well we could stay warm. We also have a well, so in addition to losing power, we lose water. We planned this night with the kids, but we didn't tell them what time the electricity would be cut. They were somewhat excited and all ran to do their individual jobs when we did cut it. The plan: to have everyone sleep in the great room near the fireplace, cook with our camping gear with food from food storage (in the garage of course), use the generator for the fridge, some heat, some light and maybe the TV for movies...We couldn't get the generator working, so we had no heat, very little light and definately no movies...We had the fire, but it couldn't heat the whole room...the kids were near it, so we kept it going all night...

we learned a lot from our experiment...we need to get the generator working, we need to get long burning logs for the fire place and we need to get a pump for our water storage containers...other than that, I think we are well prepared!


Melissa on her cot near the fireplace...


Dale chillin' out on our fancy air mattress!